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do the hard thing, Dr. Stanley
It can't be easy to be in the limelight as a religious leader to tens -- perhaps hundreds -- of thousands of people. I have long appreciated Dr. Charles Stanley and his work. His material has always been scripturally sound and rich with godly wisdom.
My heart was heavy when I learned that his marriage of more than 40 years was being dissolved.
What disappointed me most was his decision to remain in his leadership position. Not because of anything he did, but because of what this decision says about his true motivation and commitment to God. I don't know if he was at fault in the dissolution of his marriage. Perhaps he was, or had some part to play through attitude or neglect. But perhaps it was simply her "choice" to leave. In this complex world women are "finding themselves" in ever increasing numbers, regardless of their spiritual beliefs. I personally know of several cases where they left a loving, devoted husband for no apparent reason.
I simply don't know what led to the breakup. And I don't really care. What matters is that Stanley does the right thing. When his marriage first began to fall apart leading to separation, he claimed publicly that should it come to divorce he would volutarily step down from his position. Now that divorce is happening, he has backed away from that decision. He is now keeping his high-profile position as a church leader.
Not as a Christian leader, but as a church leader. That's an important distinction.
In doing the easy thing, he gave up by default his position as a Christian leader. He gave up the high opinion others have of his integrity and leadership. He gave up his authority. He gave up his reputation as a man of Scripture, rich with godly wisdom.
The right thing is often the hard thing to do. Yet that's the true test of our leadership skills, our convictions, and our commitment to what we believe to be true. The Bible is implicit in the qualifications for "overseer," the term that today can be compared to "pastor" or "elder." Those qualifications include having an untarnished marriage. There is no allowance for divorce. Being divorced automatically disqualifies you from such a position. A comprehensive Bible study on the issue of divorce and church leadership is available here. Dr. Stanley knew this when he made his original announcement, backtracking when he realized what it would cost him.
God's purpose in this guideline was not to pass blame upon the leader. He understands that reasons for divorce are varied and often have little or nothing to do with someone's righteousness or ability to lead. However, it is clear from a human perspective that divorce creates more questions than answers. Once a leader faces divorce, he or she loses that certain authority. Questions begin where before was only trust. Rumors and gossip about the reasons for the divorce crop up. People become sidetracked, losing focus on the vision that originally drove everyone in the same direction. God told us through Scripture to allow only those who were not divorced to act as our leaders.
It is indeed a hard thing to do. I would struggle with the same feelings were I in his shoes. I would certainly want to find a basis for remaining in my highly esteemed position, especially if I knew that I was not to blame for the divorce. But the Bible doesn't give us any such basis. We can try to say, as he did through his spokesman, that this experience lets us "relate" better to others. If so, then thieves, adulterers, and murderers could also relate better to others. If you truly follow Christ's teachings, only one course of action is possible. Ultimately, that course would provide even more stature, leaving behind a legacy of integrity and character that far outweighs the result of disobeying God.
I believe with conviction that if you fail to follow the biblical course, God will bring down the ministry leaving nothing but a dim memory of what was once a great man.
